Some people would think it was just the beginning of a normal drill weekend, but we didn’t.
Mister is working two civilian jobs, one first shift full-time and the second third-shift part-time. Then there’s the Guard.
All of this makes one very exhausted, stressed out husband.
Our bad day began first thing in the morning with knowing that drill weekends will end up costing us which spiraled into a conversation about our finances.
We are 100% sure God moved us out here for a reason. We just don’t know the reason.
We are 100% sure God wanted us to live in this house we can’t afford. We just don’t know why.
We are 100% sure God sent us to Bethel Baptist Church for a reason, and we love it there!
We just don’t know what God wants. I don’t know what God wants with my life or our life. We are clueless. We’re praying so hard, but we are just at a standstill. We kind of feel like the Israelites when they were in the wilderness after Egypt.
I hate my husband working so many jobs with only time for sleep and food. He’s wearing thin.
I would love for him to quit his third-shift part-time, but I’m not at peace with that.
Then I said it…a thought I have been carrying around for a few days…out loud.
I’m upset with God. He said He’d always provide, but we are behind on our rent. We paid as much as we could, but it wasn’t the full amount.
We could ask a number of people to help us out, but we feel like that’s taking the easy way and not really trusting God.
I’m upset that He said He’d provide but didn’t provide our full amount of rent. I’m upset because we don’t have any clue why He brought us out here. I’m upset my husband has to work so much to barely make ends meet.
Once my husband left, I got on Facebook to veg out. Two quotes were posted by different people that don’t even know each other, and God gave me two big Gibbs-smacks via Facebook.
“Often we want to be able to see into the future. We say, ‘How will next year be for me? Where will I be five or ten years from now?’ There are no answers to these questions. Mostly we have just enough light to see the next step: what we have to do in the coming hour or the following day. The art of living is to enjoy what we can see and not complain about what remains in the dark. When we are able to take the next step with the trust that we will have enough light for the step that follows, we can walk through life with joy and be surprised at how far we go. Let’s rejoice in the little light we carry and not ask for the great beam that would take all shadows away.”
“Trusting God when it’s easy really isn’t trust.
Trusting God when it’s hard really isn’t easy.
But, that’s what trust is.” ~ Dr. Michael Easley
Don’t I feel stupid. I read my husband these quotes, and he felt stupid too for doubting God.
Right now, it’s hard. It’s hard not being able to pay our bills. It’s hard seeing my husband working so much and being utterly exhausted. It’s hard not knowing God’s plan.
We are much like the little engine that could except ours is…
Trust in Him. Trust in Him. Trust in Him.